The Weird Shit We Research (and why our browser history scares us)

My FBI Agent Must Think We're Planning Something

You know what nobody tells you about writing dark fantasy and horror? The research will destroy any chance you have of looking like normal human beings.

Here's the kicker—Tony has a degree in Criminal Justice with an emphasis on Forensics and Victimology. You'd think that would make this easier, but it just makes it weirder. He spent last week diving into how Native American tribes in the 1800s Southwest used oleander as poison, cross-referencing it with historical accounts of frontier medicine. Not because he's planning anything sinister—he's trying to figure out if our villain has enough time for a dramatic death scene before the victim drops dead. Turns out oleander takes hours, which is perfect for dramatic monologues.

Our browser histories read like a criminology student's final project mixed with a serial killer's playbook. "Desert plants toxic to humans 1800s." "Peyote poisoning symptoms." "How to treat gunshot wounds with cactus pulp." "What frontier doctors knew about internal bleeding." And our personal favorite from last month: "Can you actually die from being scared to death?" (Answer: Yes, but it's complicated, and Tony's professors would be proud he still remembers the cardiovascular research.)

Tony's spouse walked in on him watching YouTube videos about frontier medical practices at midnight last Tuesday.

Just him, in the dark, taking notes about how they treated infected wounds with honey and whiskey in 1800s Arizona. Try explaining that one without sounding completely unhinged.

"It's for our book, honey."

"You literally have a degree. Shouldn't you already know this stuff?"

"That's modern crime, not historical desert medicine!"

Meanwhile, Charm got caught researching indigenous plant medicine at 2 AM. The worst part? We actually find this stuff fascinating. Tony started researching what plants were available to Southwest settlers for medicine and ended up spending three hours reading about how indigenous peoples used creosote bush for everything from toothaches to childbirth. Did you know they made poultices from prickly pear cactus? Neither did we, but now it's burned into our brains forever.

We've had to set boundaries. No more research after 10 PM because apparently, our subconscious takes everything we read and turns it into vivid dreams. Nothing quite like Charm waking up from a nightmare about dying of thirst in the desert while being slowly poisoned by jimsonweed to realize she did it to herself.

Also, limit the research on the symptoms of rare diseases. Tony made that mistake once while writing about someone slowly dying from a mysterious desert fever. His background means he knows just enough about pathology to be dangerous to his peace of mind.

WebMD and horror writers with medical knowledge should definitely not mix.

And for the love of all things dark and twisted, always use incognito mode when researching how to dispose of bodies. Charm learned this after getting targeted ads for industrial-strength bleach and plastic sheeting for THREE MONTHS.

The Awkward Conversations Are Real

You haven't lived until you've had to explain to a librarian why you need books about frontier medicine and toxic desert plants. Or why you're asking your doctor friend about how long someone could survive a gut shot with only 1800s medical knowledge "for research purposes."

Also, asking "So what would you look for if you found a body that had been moved after death?" at a local convention meeting can be problematic. Even worse, when one of the attendees is a local Police Sergeant, suddenly we went from "quirky writers" to "person we should probably keep an eye on."

But here's the thing—all this weird research makes our writing better. Readers can tell when you've done your homework versus when you're just making stuff up. That random fact about how desert heat affects rigor mortis? That tiny detail about which cacti are poisonous versus which ones can save your life? That's what makes a scene feel real instead of ridiculous.

At least we're never boring at parties.

Research Responsibly, Fellow Weirdos

If you're writing anything darker than a rom-com, you're gonna end up researching some weird stuff. Just remember to clear your browser history before letting anyone else use your computer. Trust me on this one.

And maybe warn your family about your new hobby. It saves awkward conversations later. Well, some of them anyway.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever had to research for your writing? Let us know—we promise not to judge. We're all weirdos here.

Stay curious (and slightly disturbing),

Tony & Charm